High Achievers - want a relief? Who am I? I am variety. I am SHE.

SHE-ness is also about accepting the variety within yourself. It’s about unapologetically accessing both the masculine AND the feminine parts of ourselves. The part that must win and conquer as well as the part that wants to be held and protected. The FREEDOM to be fully you! In general, women can be primarily feminine and men primarily masculine but not always. Here’s the reality, we all have both inside of us and when we can fully embrace that we are our own unique mix, the shame and timidity will diminish. Let’s face it. As a species it’s scientifically proven that we think in boxes/categories. It simplifies life. Reduces thinking energy. I want to challenge that in THIS SPACE of gender we have evolved enough to be able to break through the barriers the box presents and leave the primitive thinking behind. In doing so, we will FINALLY be able to bridge the gap and dive into the necessary 3rd phase of the female revolution. Necessary, if we don’t want to go down a dark and lonely tunnel of pure brute force, masculine energy fighting. -Fighting to be seen as enough. -Fighting to be chosen. -Fighting. Here’s the deal: men (on average) are primarily masculine. The masculine energy is built to fight. Fighting is exhausting for the primarily feminine energy. When the masculine walks off the battlefield they are done. When the feminine walks off, they harbor. Hence, tenseness, anger, discontent. When we win, we ultimately still don’t feel the way we hoped to. Allowing ourselves to flow between both energies is breaking out of the box! It’s not being less authentic. It’s about being even MORE authentic to yourself. It’s as natural as it gets. Watch a toddler as soft and delicate with say a butterfly in one moment and stomp, kick and scream in the other. Is that being 2 different people? It’s truth to who they are in that moment. As we grow into more self control, we begin to decide ‘who we are’. As an achieving woman who loves to achieve, I lived in my masculine energy in excess. It’s who I was most of the time. To the point that when I went to my first Tony Robbin’s event in Oct of 2015 and he asked those with primarily feminine energy to please stand up, I remained in my chair. AS the room went dark and the feminine energy was given time to dance, I watched in jealously. I wanted to do that too. I had so disconnected from that part of myself that I didn’t even know SHE existed anymore. I was tense. Annoyed a lot. Passion in my marriage? Forget about it. I kept saying, “I have great life! What is wrong with me?!“  I had to learn to reclaim my feminine energy. 

Here are a few tips I discovered on my journey that may help you too:

1. Movement. Flowing dance. Let the body go even if no one is looking. Demand a swoosh in the hips. Physicality can proceed mentality. 

Feminine is flow.

2. Finding a tribe of other women who celebrate feminine qualities so that you begin to apologize less for them and celebrate them more.

3. Create a trigger, like a finger swirling on your leg whenever you exit your workspace or need to chill out to go into intentional flow mode.

4. Put on something that makes you feel pretty – an accessory, an undergarment, a lip gloss are just examples.

5. Simply HONOR and appreciate that this part of you will allow the angst to dissipate over time.  Ultimate self love.

Here’s the deal – my theory is that when we reclaim both energies as ours to celebrate – the men we are fighting for rights with will organically accept and desire our powerful positioning and feel a draw to embrace us / care for us through the process because when the feminine appears, the masculine can not help but to show up and protect rather than fight.  Here’s to TRULY ENJOYING each other again.